"I-It's cold.."
I shivered, complaining too in the face of my ashen brother-in-law. He sighed, carrying and depositing me in the tub in a giant leap. The water splashed all down the sides and onto the flood making them slippery-harazdous at best. But Augustin remained to help bathe me, though in a fit of decency and my modesty; i wore a flannel white, long sleeved shirt to help ease my mind.

"I'm sorry; your brother says i must in order to break your fever."

He was on his knees ,but well above in height to do more than see over. I grunted. "You don't always have to listen to him."

"Well I must because for one thing, this is only temperature for the water if you must know.." He stated sounding all scientific and important but i knew better..yet despite how horrible I felt, despite my troubles with this flu, i still couldn't be without a shower. I couldn't and besides the water healed me slightly and rejunevated balance back within my body. Balance.

Balance I needed.

"Ha real smart Bon-Bon." I joked chuckling a bit but refusing to go full scale because fear was there of overdoing it; as i'm known to do and what Augustin found out. So this situation was as relaxed as i could manage..no we bother could manage under teh circumstances. Under these circumstances he rallied behind me.

"Going under?"

"What? Oh..yeah.."

Then for the split second as i dunked; memories swarmed about the fountain and how i would of wanted to float in there forever, just to be free of things I didn't like about myself. I rose up, drenched and smiling for the first time. Though the water still chilled me...

chilled me good.

I desired warmth though, in the water anyhow but couldnt' get it because fevers weren't brought down with the warmth. Coldness prevailed. Coldness only in the water, not in the people. Not in them at all. Instead of leaning my head back, I went straight up bringing my knees to my face, very comforty like; lowering my face back into the water.

How i could stay forever.

In precious water

H20 wasw a miracle and to my life..to my life..

"Here you go."

He poured some cherry shampoo into my palms, then handed me a bar of soap in the other. I snorted and purposely dropped the bar in, then attacked my hair; grabbing it all and scooting the shampoo all through, all down the roots.

"Thank you.."

"De rien."

But insteading of washing my hair out afterwards, i began to style it in weird hairdos; like i'd done when i was a child. Augustin took notice but his numerous facial expressions; but being compounding with fever and aches did not make me wanna stop being myself. I shaped my hair together and made it into a point with a curly tip.

Enjoyment.

"Impressive soeur."

"It's nothing darling bro."

I then flatten my hair, yanked it together and out produced a mowhawk, which got him rolling on his back side and chortling indelightful laughter. My pleasure really. My pleasure really.."Oh Tomiko.."

I ducked back into the water, submerged and with my hands rinsing out the shampoo. "Oh Tomiko.." I reemerged cheerier than ever despite the pain. He had recovered adn reminded me of the soap. I searched for it and took  and scrubbed it on my body (to which the shirt covered also) but Augustin turned his back to give me the privacy and that of shaving also. I was blessed with his tender brotherly devotion. But missing Maximilien's...where was he? where was he at? "Wasn't that great-oh! You can look now. I'm all done."

"But wasn't it?"

Smile.

"It was soeur. But are you done?"

No, i wasn't.

No, i wasn't. I'd never be done with the water yet i couldn't linger behind in it. I couldn't.Did i have to face everything once i came out with my towel? Hmm..why'd it all be so difficult for me?

Maybe so.

Maybe so.

"Not yet Bon-Bon but..but..do you believe that Maximilien shall truly marry me?"

"I do or else he'd wouldn't put you to the trouble."

I submerged my head once more, then bolted up.

"I guess so.."

"It's true. Is that all?"

I smiled. how could it be all? How could it? "I'm done, get me a towel, s'il te plait!" I immediately jerked to my feet, my arms out waiting for dryness and it came once he drapped it around and took me out.

"Yes your majesty." He teased.

I wasn't a queen anymore. I wasn't. France already had a queen for its sakes. A royal family and besides i couldn't handle any of the etiquette imposed on the court. In versailles, I'd seen Marie Antoinette on a few occasions and i was always stuck how she was a really a monarch more than my dreams allowed. Picture perfect in complexion, perfect..dazzling but I wasn't any of those things. I wasn't. "Bon-Bon, don't play like that!"

"Miko-chan but it is fun! off to Maxime's room?"

"Yes off there."

He carried me upon his shoulders, through the corridors to my lover's room and flinged me on the bed niftly. "Do you wish for me to leave now? So you can dress?"

"I do but today i'm dressing differently.."

"Okay." He moved for the door, smiled and shut the door behind him. I wasn't any fashion dressing queen, diva or anything like that..but i got my point across and was grateful for it.  I t was after my bathing that i felt better and realized my fever had left me. It could still come back but i'd enjoy the time before its reappearance with my fellow companion Bon-Bon. In the house of course. I still wasn't ready to leave. Still sick..but i laid on the bed still achy and uncertain of my state; though i couldn't be sick forever nor naked, Bon-Bon would worry if i didn't come out as I'd said. SO i got up slowly, took my bag and got one of my dresses out and laid it on the bed as I simeloutes(sp) uncovered my soaked body. The towel I laid down was holding my shirt, preventing the water from getting on the bed, and i stared at it for a quick second before moving to put my underwear and bra on. NOrmally i hated dresses and always if offered the choice, I'd pick against; but these dresses were exquisite and darling and thus intrigued me.

But i wouldn't abandon my casual, informal style even for these dresses. No matter how stunning I was in them. they couldn't hold my appeal for them. But since I was sick, I wanted freedom and somehow pants, jeans, breechs weren't the way to go; Dresses for the first time appealed to me. Deeply so.

I put the dress on and moved to the mirror.

The dress was highly tight like a corset but its color screamed elegance-a peachy brown silk that matched my skin tone as a pale asian. And exquisite french lace edged all over to my sleeves, my almost bare shoulders and to seemingly in the dress itself. I put my hair up into a bun and wandered outside.

Though Bon-Bon was proving to the greatest friend I had in Arras, I missed Maximilien more. I missed him no doubt and it was a shame that Bon-Bon dind't know where he'd gone. So i could only speculate. DId he go on his mini-trips without me? Oh! Because If he..then i'd be upset and totally crushed by his lies, when he said i could come! It was a promise, a damn promise.

But where was he? Where did he go? Where? I kept that in my mentality, wondering on his location, as i came out without any suspicion leaning on me.  I wandered back to the living room and Augustin greeted me and took my hand and guided me towards the couch again.His precaution was to keep me down despite the absense of a fever now; the threat I wasn't done sparked this feeling, this devotion and i didn't complain though i was getting real sore(even being sick bugged me. I couldn't lie down for too long and this factor in me upset everyone who ever tended me) But i obeyed for besides my illness, i still had to contend with my foot.

I had to refuse to recently to ear the cast of now even more the crutches but those instances were rare..as i could now almost fully put the weight back on it. Now i wondered if consequences were in store for my neglectfulness. Probably so. Probably so.

"What?"

"Here is a pillow for your foot too."

He revealed teh small white pillow underneath teh sheets and i ginned and seated myself on teh couch. my foot rested comfortably.  Then i leaned back and the wet cold cloth went back on my forehead. The sheets were tucked so securely and tightly..

"Bon-Bon, you shouldn't do all this for me-"

He beamed and made a tiny seat beside me. His arms coiled around. "You need me soeur.."

"Bon-Bon!"

I shook my head.

Adjectives to this? Any? Indescribeable everyway..why would he feel he must-? He hugged me. I need him? Yes for right now...

"But Bon-Bon-"
"Nothing miko-chan." I stared at him like a freak perhaps nothing everything he's done. Like maxime, he was there. There ..was this how it felt to have a functional brother? Tomoyuki wouldn't do these things..except bringing me the medicine and i'd have to do it myself..but Bon-Bon deeply cared. Cared and if he was going to be my future brother-in-law then i was proud, and getting a very good deal. He calmed all my fears..but he couldn't calm me over my missing frenchman.

My dear Maximilien.
Oh Maximilien.

Silence followed then his darting eyes.

I grew a bit suspicious at this activity so i attacked him.

"What? What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing..you look just-"

"Is it too much? The dress?" I picked a bit of the lack between my 2 fingers and he looked at me funny. "Beautiful." I dropped every single thing and glimsped at my dear companion. Me? In this dress? "But it is missing something..I"ll go get it.." He rode up and vanished to one of the rooms.

Beautiful?

An asian beauty?

Was a asian okay to be as bride for a frenchman? Was she that beautiful? Was i? Was i?

Augustin returned with my make-up bag and other items that raised my eyebrows. "Sorry! I had to borrow this without your permission but it shall be fixed! You shall!" He roared all smiley and cheery. I shifted my eyes slightly.

"It's all right. Whatever you have to do."

"That's good I have such support."

He claimed his seat and put all his working materials in his lap and instantly i drew my face close. "Good, then we know that we're doing. Just as brilliant miko-chan.." He latched open all bags and got to work. I shut my eyes and then the make-up came on. He applied it slowly and softy with his brush; first my eyes which took awhile then he moved on. Like the surprise, he still wished to pamper me.

My darling Bon-Bon!

"Am i really beautiful?"

"Yes. Maximilien would die for you!"

The mere mention of his name..it sent my heat into a swivel and my breathing quicken...Would he-? Yes he would! I'd stun him..though too bad he never saw any of it..as i always seemed to get him..challenge all he'd known..good or bad.

Oh my heart. My heart..

If i could..if i could..I yearned to see him..to touch him..to feel him..and his kisses..so naturally i only went on the last memory. Lover just cured my pain..my bothering head..my patience..

"Did you take your medicine?"

"Yeah an hour ago. I have to wait four to six hours..to take the next dosage.."

"How are you feeling?"

The question paralyzed me. How was I? How was I to what?  what was he asking about exactly? my physically ailments or my emotional ones?  Even if he specified..what would i say-what would be my response to it? To any of that? I guess nothing really..nothing..I couldn't say on any level. "I can't."

" It's okay."

I waited like i had done in the palor.

Like with my surprise.

I waited hopefully that Augustin didn't ruin me.

Nah..

Nah..

I trusted him.

"Done. Look at yourself now.."

A mirror thrusted in my face and it was even more amazing then the surprise. Augustin had done a truly remarkable job! He should be a stylist! Hey i could tell him or let him follow his elder brotehr..his choice But i was gonna tell him anyways.

"YOU ARE AMAZING! I ADORE YOU! And I-I-I ADORE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!!!!!!!!" U screeched clapping my hands excited and being hugged continously so. He then backed off and bowed and bowed.

He had put a light and barely dark brown as my eyeshadow, blending them together. My cheeks splashed with pinkness not overdone-and my hair! He got my hair ever! Gorgeous trail of tan to white feathers decorated my bun. he should be a stylist! Why wasn't he?! Why? I turned to face him and instead..

...Maximlien De Robespierre..

My french lover..here..

My heart paused and no right emotion came to my surface. None. "Are you upset at me?" Was he going to talk to me or just stare? Was he going to acknowledge me all the way? I searched over him to find Charlotte and she was grinning.

I went back to my french man. What did it mean? What did her grin mean?
I got dizzy just then and rested my head back down, still confused.

The questions were taking my toll on my health it seemed but no one backed off.